A love letter I DID write.

Its been a while since I’ve written anything, or at least added any content to this page. Its not for lack of inspiration, but rather I've had quite a bit to get though. Three weeks ago I went to a bar and wrote some of my thoughts down. I've strung these thoughts together and this is what I got.


I'm nine beers into the night, or the rough equivalent of four shots of a tolerable whiskey. I've long past the point where my face feels numb to the touch. My skin is numb. My mind is numb. Even my tongue is numb. So how is it that the thought of you still pains me?

Its an interesting development. I don’t typically drink all that much. Yet here I sit in a state of alcohol induced euphoria, commiserating with myself in my loneliness.

The blankness of the page speaks to me in honest tone, and therefore requires honesty in return. I am lost without you. I am lost without you. Without you, what is life? How can I claim to be alive without the echo of our heartbeats to pronounce the fact? Who am I to dare exist without your smile to sanction me?

I feel the need to fight, to quarrel, to destroy, and in doing so be consumed in destruction. It is easier for me to endure the basest degradation than to continue in such slavery to your memory.

I cannot bare to be strong anymore. To think I have withstood blows and slurs and all the manners of savagery only to fall helpless at your touch. My lips quake and become parched in the absence of your kiss. It is the balm I need to sooth my troubled soul.

Tragic. That I needed too much drink and time to think to realize my utter dependency on you. I need you. In your presence I need. IN your absence I need.

In your presence I need to sing and dance. I need to exhaust the fates which brought us together. I need to stop time and savor you. I need to experience your taste, your voice, the warmth of your breath in the heat of passion, the suppleness of your skin under my stewardship. Most importantly I need to find the soul deep within your eyes, and in doing so, find my rest, my solace, my serenity.

In my absence I need to toil, to fight, to strive, to bite. I need to destroy. I need to be consumed, so that I may rise like the phoenix and be born again from my own ashes. You hold within your bosom my sacred purpose and without you I must find some other cause to champion.

Your kiss is the wellspring of life to me. Without it, how am I to slake this tortuous thirsting which drains even the very soul from my marrow? So kiss me. Touch me. Let me worship you. Because I need you. Because you deserve it. Because alone we are the stuff of greatness, but together we wield so awesome a power as to even halt the passing of time and create entire worlds for us to share to the exclusion of all else.

Look at me. I drone on like a fool. Then it must be love, for only love will turn a wise man to such foolish prattling. Be with me. Assuage this need in me. Have the courage to love me as I do you.